


Winemaking is Lovemaking!

by Prisioux



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Awkward Flirting, Dessert & Sweets, Drunken Confessions, F/M, Minor Arya Stark/Gendry Waters, Modern Westeros, Sandor is 33, Sansa is 22, Westerlands as California, Wine, sansan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-21
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-03 07:55:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10962957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prisioux/pseuds/Prisioux
Summary: Sandor and Tyrion pooled their resources and now operate Clegane Wines. Both despise their number 1 sales product: the award winning Clegane Rosé.Sansa has convinced a pregnant Arya to go on a road trip through Westerlands Wine Country before she weds Gendry Baratheon.Inspired by the movie " Sideways".All mistakes, terrible jokes and stupid situations are mine.





	1. From Drinking Buddies to...

**Author's Note:**

> The background elements of this story are similar to my other fiction " Storm in the North" http://archiveofourown.org/works/10324925/chapters/22825454
> 
> I basically try to be as canon compliant as possible, with many tongue in cheeck hedcanons, but keeping some tragic elements of the original plot.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyrion planned a surprise to Sandor. A surprise that came from the North.

Sandor Clegane considered summer to be, at the same time, the worst and best time of the year.

 

On one hand, he could not deny that the warm weather was responsible for the dramatic increase of sales revenues of his Clegane Rosé and the hundreds of thousands of Golden Dragons his bank account would receive were welcomed with great enthusiasm.

 

On the other hand, Westerlands Wine Country was flooded with tourists making the now world famous road trips, visiting vineyards, tasting a wide variety of wines and of course, being obnoxious, loud and annoying cunts.

 

Sandor would have prefered to simply lock his doors and refuse the groups, but that would be bad PR and he was a businessman, after all. Besides, he had Tyrion Lannister to cover this part of the work; Sandor had to admit the little man was in his element and had negotiated a good deal with the County Travel Bureau. The Imp loved nothing more than to be the center of attention, lauded as the master mind behind their success story. Sandor was satisfied in playing the man behind the scenes role and the wine was actually named after him.

 

As it turned out, The Hound and The Imp formed a highly effective team, together in the pursuit of what really mattered. Profits. Well, it is actually more complicated than that, but "profits" is the single easiest explanation to why Tyrion and Sandor decided to produce Rosé wines, in spite of the fact both absolutely hated their award winning product.

 

Sandor had worked for the Lannisters every since he was a boy of 12, so he knew Tyrion for most of his life. Even when he got sick and tired of that bloody family and re-entered the Army, he ended up in the same division of Jaime Lannister and under his command. Old habits were hard to kill and extra money led to Sandor work as bodyguard for that sorry excuse of human being called Joffrey between deployments.

 

Tyrion was also under great stress his entire life because of the bad relationship with his father and his condition. Being the only dwarf amongst the legendary good looking, blond haired Lannister family would have been a terrible blow to even to the sanest individual. Only wine - and whores- could dull both men´s misery.

 

So, more often than not, Sandor and Tyrion would find themselves sharing the same table and they would engage in deep conversations about their passion: while Tyrion favored Gold Arbor, Sandor was ever faithful to Dornish Red. One day, Sandor had had enough of Joffrey and quit. Partly because he knew that boy was a time bomb and would end up killed sooner or later. He obviously did not want the death of a client on his pristine bodyguard Resumé, but he left mostly because of the young man´s behavior towards the Little Bird.

 

Sansa Stark dated Joffrey for a couple of months, but the relationship had  freezed during a trip the Baratheons and Starks took to Dorne. The little shit basically killed Sansa´s dog. By that time, Catelyn had already left with the two younger boys to Kings Landing, planning on going North afterwards, but all flights were fully booked, leaving Eddard and the girls behind for two days. Joffrey had confided in Sandor that he was planning on making a visit to the girl, who had locked herself in his bedroom . Sandor managed to talk to Sansa and alert her and, since he was leaving on a military carrier the same night, he offered to take her with him, but she was obviously still too scared of his face and bad manners and decided to stay.

But Sandor left as he said he would and joined the Army. In the Riverlands, during a war exercise, he identified Sansa´s sister, Arya, who had lied about her age and was trying to get to her brother, Robb. Sandor took upon himself to deliver the little wolf bitch to his brother, however things got way more complicated than he had anticipated: Robb died in a freakish accident that sounded more like an ambush; Catelyn Stark, their mother, was attacked by men connected to the Freys, and left for dead and her former bodyguard, Lieutenant Brienne of Tarth somehow thought Sandor was helding Arya against her will and attacked him. Arya escaped them both and Sandor ended up at the Quiet Isle Retreat for Veterans.

 

After some weeks of both physical and psychological therapy, Sandor decided to accept an honourable discharge from the Army. Elder Brother, the director of the retreat, explained him that as a veteran he would be eligible for full scholarships, either on the technical or college level education and so they went over the list of options for institutes, community colleges and courses. Sandor was not sure of what to do, but winemaking had always interested him. Westerlands University had a 18 month Certificate of Winemaking Program that he could start online while on the retreat. Elder Brother also suggested Sandor to attend Business Classes at the local Saltpans City College, which he did and was forever grateful.

 

Not long after this life change decision were made, a couple of unfortunate events that enabled both Sandor and Tyrion to combine their assets and open shop at Clegane Estate started to unfold. The so called "Twincest Scandal" was proved to be a fact after DNA tests made in the aftermath of Joffrey´s incarceration for harming a prostitute named Ros showed he could not possibily be a Baratheon. At this point, there was very little the mighty Tywin Lannister could do other than put a brave face and send his well trained pack of lawyers to harass the press and his enforcers to call in favors from members of the Judiciary.

 

Unfortunately, Tywin was dealing with other powerful families and the whole bullying strategy was only working short term. Anyway, the release of Joffrey on bail was as good excuse as Tywin could get to remind everyone that the boy had his full support and a massive party was thrown to celebrate the occasion. Joffrey once again proved to be a disapointment and a party pooper : he died during the festivities, choking on a chicken wing.

 

The shock must have affected the old patriarch more than anticipated, because he saw fit to have a romantic encounter with Tyrion´s mistress, Shae, a couple of days after Joffrey´s funeral.

 

Now, regarding Tywin´s cause of death : if you believe some rumours, it might have been a single fatal shot wound to his chest inflicted by his enraged son when he went to his father´s chambers to discuss details pertinent to the lawsuit and found him with Shae.

 

Or you could choose the version Cersei Lannister had approved: a sudden and fulminant heart attack, obviously caused by the stress of an unjust lawsuit and the loss of a beloved grandson.

 

Well, since Tywin Lannister´s will had been dictated a couple of months before the scandal broke and not changed, the bulk of his Estate went to Cersei and Jaime. Tywin would have hated his legacy tarnished by families disputes, so he left a hefty sum of money to Tyrion, with the stipulation he would lose this benefit if he would choose to challenge the will.

 

Nobody could accuse Tyrion of being stupid: he took his check, left Casterly Rock Manor and promised himself to become the richest Lannister, which would not be that hard all things considered: Jaime had no interest in running the business; Cersei was not only unprepared but possibly mad and her aggressive spending and impulsive decisions would possibly be the end of Lannister. Not to mention the fact that most of the gold mines were exhausted and the myriad of uncles, aunts, cousins and widows with shares and participation in the company spelled trouble for anyone with half a brain.

 

So, Tyrion had enough money when he bumped into Sandor 5 years ago while he was visiting the campus of Westerland University to finish his Certificate.

 

As it happened, Sandor had also came into an inheritance: in this case his brother Gregor had been found dead not too far from the Quiet Isle and left no will or known heirs, except for his younger and estranged brother.

 

The man known as the "Mountain that rides" apparently lost control of his customized Harley and crashed against a solid weirwood tree. The impact was so intense that he was all but decapitated.

 

Despite some people whispering foul play, the forensics team labelled the case an accident. Truth be told, the Police Department of Saltpans was notorious for avoiding lengthy and complicated cases and a man like Gregor had an almost unlimited list of possible suspects and of people who would have liked to see him killed, among them powerful and rich families such as the Martells, Tullys and Targaryens.

 

The rise of the Westerlands wine began about 30 years ago and more or less coincided with the invention of the White Zinfadel, a specific sort of Rosé wine that took Westeros by the storm. The carefully executed market research that Tyrion and Sandor made showed that there was still space for another Rosé winemaker, in spite of the recent 5% decrease of Rosé on the market participation, Zinfadel occupied third places of sales and there was almost unlimited promise of sales growth for the foreign markets.

 

Tyrion was a genius of marketing, a natural born salesman and promoter, capable of charming people as different as the though CEO of a great supermarket chain to the prickly editor in chief of specialized magazines. Tyrions qualities combined with Sandor´s hands on approach on winemaking and obsession with quality guaranteed Clegane Rosé´s well deserved history of success and it did not take too long before nominations and wins for prestigious awards started to come their way.

 

Even better: the money they were winning with the fruity, light, perfumed Rosé was more than enough to allow Tyrion and Sandor to buy cases and more cases of Dornish and Arbor wines.

 

***

 

“Sansa, you drive like an old lady,why am I so NOT surprised by that, huh? I mean, I bet Old Nan would go faster than you, ha! We are on the fucking highway, for fuck´s sake! “

 

Sansa knew that her relationship with Arya was now one of trust and friendship, but her sister could be a pain in the ass sometimes and right now was exactly one of those moments. Of course Sansa regretted having mocked Arya during their childhood and still felt guilty about having dismissed her warnings against Joffrey back in the day. However, the 4 hour complaining session about her lack of desire to drive recklessly in her opinion is more than enough punishment for any past and future sisterly transgression.

 

“Shut up, Arya! I am driving as fast as possible, but there are speed limits. Not that you, with your collection of tickets, would ever know or care about.”

 

How could she get mad at Arya, when her wild wolf of a sister had agreed with Sansa´s crazy idea of making a road trip through Westerlands wine country, even though she was pregnant and still holding a grudge against Sandor, who owned one of the vineyards they were about to visit?

 

“ We are almost there anyway. We just need to check in at the Bed and Breakfast, freshen up a bit and call Tyrion. He will pick us up and we head to this very famous restaurant, Fair Isle. The Penrose Guide gave it 3 stars last year so I am very excited Tyrion managed to get us a table in such a short notice!”

 

It took a couple of weeks to convince Arya. And years for Sansa to finally have the courage to try and find out what had happened to Sandor.

 

The weekend he left her was a long one. Sansa could sense that the relationship between her father and Robert Baratheon was under duress, but she could not have anticipated the strong reaction of Eddard to what would have been seen as a simple break up between teenagers. Joffrey had been charming in the beginning and Sansa, as naive as a very sheltered 15 years old girl could.

 

There was no flights to Kings Landing that day and her mother managed to secure the last seats. Sansa, Arya and Eddard would have to endure another night with the Baratheons. Sandor and Arya had always told her the truth and she refused to listen because both of them were harsh about it. Sansa had not realized that life was not a song.

 

It was painful to come to the conclusion that her parents, although loving, had neglected to properly prepare Sansa to face the world on her own. When winter finally came, she was basically left to fend for herself.

 

They managed to leave together and arrive in Kings Landing, eventually staying one night at Stannis home. Eddard and Catelyn still had to go to this social event and Stannis was preparing some documents and stayed with the Stark children. Two days later, Robert Baratheon died under mysterious circumstances; his last and final will was not found and Stannis started a much publicized lawsuit over control of Baratheon Corporation, based on the fact that Cersei´s children were not Robert´s therefore had no right to inherit his shares.

 

Unfortunately for Sansa, the moment the information was made public, she had gone to the Baratheon to properly say goodbye to Myrcella and was held as a virtual prisionner for a couple of weeks, as leverage. The only sane adult person in that family was Tyrion Lannister, who took upon himself to protect Sansa from Joffrey´s outbursts and managed to contact Catelyn Stark in the midst of the legal battle and arrange for her release. Sansa was pretty sure this was only possible because Cersei, who was usually drunk, was beyond herself and not paying too much attention when Joffrey was arrested in relation to some horrible crime.

 

However, her father was killed in a freakish car accident and because her mother was paranoid after this event and the suspicious fall of her little brother, Brandon, from a tower and Catelyn had asked a childhood friend of hers called Petyr Baelish to escort Sansa to her aunt´s Lysa home in the Vale, where she was to start school and be kept safe from possible reprisals from the Lannisters.

 

Long story short: worst .decision. ever.

 

Eventually, great uncle Brynden Tully rescued Sansa and her cousin Robin Arryn from the hands of Mr Baelish and the Starks pieced little by little their family together.

 

Although Sansa kept in touch with Tyrion, sending the occasional email, they never talked about the past really, preferring to keep the communication a bit on the superficial side. It was only a couple of months ago that Sansa actually asked Tyrion about his life and, eventually, if he knew what have happened to Sandor.

 

Looking back now, how could have Sansa not asked about Sandor before? From time to time, her thoughts would drift back to Sandor.She would remember how afraid she was of his angry eyes, but also how she had grown to like to be called “Little Bird”, to hear that raspy voice and the crude remarks that made her blush.

 

Sansa often missed Sandor´s fierceness and dirty mouth , wishing she could be a little bit like him or even Arya. In time, Sansa eventually learned to use some of what she had learned with Sandor to her advantage.

 

Like the day Sansa surprised Arya with a very primal reaction, trully worthy of the famous irascible Hound : after finding out that her then boyfriend, Harry, had cheated, Sansa proceeded to kick the young man´s very personal and private parts, calling him a “ small dick cunt”, and only stopped the vicious attack when Gendry restrained her, which gave Harry the opportunity to flee the scene, never to appear again.

 

“Oh, it seems we have arrived! It looks exactly like in the picture, but somehow...different. Well, it was the only place with vacant rooms.” Sansa parked the overstuffed car without difficulty in the semi-empty lot. The place looked old and a bit on the “rustic” side. Anyway, Tyrion had offered them a place at Clegane Estate, however Sansa preferred them to have rooms elsewhere, just in case things got weird with Sandor.

 

***

 

“ Why on Westeros are we in front of the Maggy´s Bed and Breakfast? The place is a dump!”

 

Tyrion had somehow convinced Sandor to venture out of Clegane Estate. Since everybody in town actually knew Sandor and was used to his scars, Tyrion really did not understand why his partner was always a bit reluctant in venturing out of his cave.

 

“ I told you already, Hound: I have a surprise for you. Two, actually.”

 

The first thing that came into his mind was that The Imp had booked a couple of rooms and invited some professional female friends over. As far as Sandor knew, Tyrion had never set foot at Maegi´s- the kind of trap that only unadvised guests would dare to stay longer than a couple of nights. But perhaps Tyrion was not planning on let the “surprises” much longer there?

 

“You should wait here outside. I go to the reception to pick up our dates for what promises to be a very exciting evening.” Tyrion looked too pleased with himself for Sandor´s taste, but hey, the little man was known for his good taste, so, why not?

 

When Sandor was getting used to the idea of a self indulgent night with lovely ladies of pleasure, he saw a couple of very familiar faces.

 

His jaw dropped.

 

He felt the corners of his mouth moving up.

 

_A smile?_

 

“ Sandor!”

 

Sansa was an absolute knock out, exactly how he remembered her, but better. She was dressed in knee length black dress with white polka dots, some throwback style. Sandor could only feel the warmth of her body, close to his, because as soon as she screamed his name, she had ran for his arms and locked him in an embrace.

“ Seven Hells, little bird, it has been such a long time! And look at Arya bloody Stark! Are you a lady now, wolf bitch?”

 

Arya was already rolling her eyes. “ Why, are you handsome now, Hound?”

 

Tyrion saw fit to interrupt what could have been a playful exchange between Sandor and Arya. “ Good, I see that my surprise was well received. Now that the emotional part of this meeting is over, we should make our way to the celebratory dinner!”

 

“ Better not be one of those restaurants with tiny portions. I did not come all this way south to starve, Lannister! ” Arya was barely out of the first trimester, always hungry and she managed to sound terrifying enough for Tyrion to turn red.

 

“ Fear not. They offer a good variety of hearty comfort food with organic ingredients and, of course, outstanding regional wines.” Maybe trying to deflect a possible reprisal, Tyrion added. “ Sansa actually took a look at the menu and approved the choice. “


	2. ...to friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arya has a plan and Sansa is tipsy.  
> Sandor and Tyrion are in for the shock of their lives.

Arya had to admit that The Fair Isle was a truly special place. For starters, the restaurant was built around a real weirwood tree and the very high ceiling lent the hall a grandiosity befitting the Dragon Age. The tables were all beautifully carved and arranged in a very elegant way, which made the room look bigger than it was.

“ I thought weirwoods were a rarity south of The Neck!” Arya could not hide the excitement at the sight,it was so unexpected. She was pleasantly surprised.

Sansa pointed out how northern culture in general , and weirwoods in particular, were all the rage ever since the “ Outlander” book and TV series became such a hit. Sandor explained that some fancy architect though it was a good idea to leave the weirwood intact and make it part of the building; he also said the owners had allowed some artist from the Riverlands called "The Ghost of Hight Heart" to carve the ugly face on the poor, helpless tree and film the process for some performance art event somewhere.

“ Well, for my part I am thankful the restaurant does not have its own Red Priestess, I heard for all that Lord of Light talk, they think the night is dark and full of terrors. “ Since nobody seemed to understand his joke, Tyrion changed the subject; apparently, the restaurant served only their menu dinner tonight, which would consist on several options of main and side dishes, plus desserts. All they had to do was to sit and enjoy each other´s company. The wine, of course, was provided by the local vinyards.

“ Unfortunately, our Clegane Rosé might make an appearance .“ Tyrion sounded suspiciously pleased with himself by this remark and Sandor seemed to implicitly agreed.

Sansa was outraged at the observation, as she was quite a fan of their Rosé. “ You should not dismiss your own wine, Tyrion! I am sure Sandor works very hard and you both should be proud.”

“Little bird, always the perfect lady, not forgetting her courtesies! As it happens, I am very proud of our Red, but most of our profits comes from the Rosé, so yes, I guess you are right and I should be _proud_ of it. “

They sat at what it seemed to Sansa to be the best table there was and a waiter soon came, greeting the group. He was carrying a jar of water and a basket with a nice selection of bread, both white and black. After answering some queries regarding tonight´s menu, the waiter was about to leave when Arya ordered an apple juice with ice cubes.

Sandor quickly caught on the strange order .“ What is the problem, wolf girl? Is our wine too strong for your northern taste?”

“ I am pregnant, Hound! You, on the other hand, should drink as much as you want. I am your own designated driver!” Arya was smiling a perhaps too friendly smile, as if she had ulterior motives. It struck Sandor as odd that Arya would be so happy about the prospect of driving intoxicated people around, but for once, he decided to go with the flow and be a jolly good fellow.

“Congratulations on your pregnancy, Arya. May I ask who is the father to be?” Tyrion sounded embarassed at such news. Of course, he knew Arya was not the child he once briefly met, but she was still young, barely out of her teenage years.

Embarassed Arya was not and she promptly answered the question. “ His name is Gendry and he is the son of Fat Bobby Baratheon. A true son, mind you. “

Clearing his throat at the obvious reference, Tyrion was saved by the waiter, who asked if everything was to their liking so far.

Everybody knew the Lannisters were now forever associated with the twincest scandal and that both Tommen and Myrcella had to be sent to be educated in Pentos to avoid being bullied in school. This was a subject nobody present wanted to bring up.

The waiter came back with Arya´s juice and a bottle of goold Clegane Red.

Sansa watched Tyrion and Sandor closely as both sipped from their wine, in quiet appreciation. They looked more than pleased, she thought. Clegane Red was a fine wine indeed, alive with notes of blackberry and pepper, the smell was powerful without being overwhelming. A bit too strong for her taste, delicious nevertheless.“ Sandor, will you be able to show us around tomorrow after lunch? I know Tyrion has to welcome some potential buyers and is not sure how long the meeting would take. “

“ You can count on that, Sansa.” Sandor could not shake the feeling that his every move was being observed by Arya. Years earlier, she had told him about water dancing and how she was trained by her fencing instructor to move as a cat. Sandor had dismissed all that talk as nonsense back then, but now he wondered...

***

Dinner was as delicious as expected. Sansa was happily tipsy and Arya thought her sister was making a fool out of herself on account of her behavior with Sandor, touching his arm and batting her eyelashes too often.

Tyrion, however, thought the sight amusing. Sansa had always been very beautiful, but it did not mean she could flirt, which made things even funnier.

Arya concluded Tyrion perhaps had anticipated or even was aware of  Sansa´s obvious interest and was playing matchmaker.

Sandor had actually surprised Arya for his somewhat tamed attitude. Not that the Hound had suddenly turned into a gentleman: he still used profanity and was fond of making crude remarks pass as jokes, but Sandor was being overtly cautious to what he said to Arya.

It did not matter.

Arya knew better and tonight she would get her answers.

Driving them back to Clegane Estate was no problem. Without Sansa´s interference and with the road in great condition, nobody noticed when Arya started to speed up. Of course now that she was pregnant Arya knew she should start being more careful and minding things like speed limits for instance, but she also wanted to enjoy her last days of carefree life.

Tyrion had invited them for a nightcup at his bachelor pad at Clegane Keep. Sandor had reformed the old service quarters to be his new home and Tyrion had more or less offered Arya his sofa bed for the night.

Yes, because it was evident that Sansa would end up spending the night at Sandor´s.

“Ladies, this is my humble home when I am...home. “ Tyrion had loosened up and was now walking barefoot in the open kitchenete. He went on and on about his rich man´s problems while preparing the beverages: how his full time job as C.O.O of Targaryen Conglomerate was keeping him from staying longer than one month at his vineyard; how his former intern, Podrick Payne, would have to return to University for his last semester and leave Sandor alone to deal with the Estate; how Tyrion has to travel way too often to exotic and remote parts of Essos for work, not leaving much time to decorate his Kings Landing penthouse.

Arya said something about how she was ready to puke if Tyrion continued with his pity party.

It was enough and the complaining stopped. “ Here are your glasses of pure tap water with ice cubes, ladies. Now, except for tea, I can only offer wine. And by that I mean Red. No more Rosé for you, Sansa. It would be unwise!”

Sansa tried to protest, in vain.

*Hiccup* “No, no, I love the Rosé! I can´t possibly drink the Red. *Hiccup* I might get drunk and do something I will regret. Am I right? I need my *Hiccup* wits about me, right, Sandor? Come here, Sandor, I am cold. *Hiccup*”

Arya knew it was time. Sansa would start drinking water, thus eliminating the alcohol. Arya needed Sansa to stay tipsy. It was now or never.

“ So, how about we play a game, huh? Like Truth or Truth? I think it is a great way to spend the rest of this lovely evening.Better than playing cards. Sansa sucks at cards. ”

Tyrion was laying on the floor just opposite to the leather sofa that Sansa and Sandor were now occupying, the same Arya would probably call it bed later that evening. “ That is a splendid idea, Arya. You might spin this old, empty bottle here, Clegane. We all know the rules, I suppose.”

Sansa started to giggle, much to Arya´s amusement. “ She has no idea!” Arya thought.

The first round, Arya had to answer a question from Sandor.

“Wolf bitch, tell us: was this pregnancy planned? I would ask how you managed to get pregnant, but we all know you fucked that Baratheon boy just well enough!”

Easy.

Arya was not offended. “Of course it was an accident, Hound, I am 20 years old!I had just started on the pill, but as it happens, it is not 100% effective in the first month. The doctor had told me that, but I guessed the 0,01% chance was too low, so I did not bother.”

Next round: Sansa asked Tyrion whether that old Oberyn Martell and Ellaria Sand rumour was true .

“Oberyn did invite me to Dorne , and we all know what that means, right? *wink*, but I never made it. It was at the time of my father´s death and things got...on the way. “

Tyrion then spinned the bottle.

Arya crossed her fingers.

Finally!

“ Sansa, tell us ALL about your first time!”

To her credit, Sansa did not miss a beat.

“Well, it was right after that terrible trip to Dorne, before father died. Joffrey had killed my dog and we were stuck at that resort waiting for a flight. Sandor had offered to take me, but I stayed with father. We did get the flight eventually and I have no idea why, but our parents had agreed to attend a gala in Kings Landing.”

Arya was already smiling. She knew exactly how it happened, but Sansa always refused to talk about it.

“Anyway, we were staying at Stannis Baratheon´s house for the night and I was on babysit duty. Arya and Shireen convinced me to play truth or dare, they dared me to kiss Stannis. I did kiss him and yes, after the kids were put to bed, I went to Stannis bed and I think you can imagine the rest.”

Arya could not contain herself and burst into laughter. “ I SO KNEW IT! Hahaha...my God, good girl Sansa with Stannis! HAHAHA!”

Sandor could barely move, froze probably due to shock.

Tyrion kept repeating: “ Stannis?...Stannis?...Stannis?”

Sansa was not ashamed, though; Stannis was very good. “It was only that one time. He was lonely, it was right after the divorce. I was sad. Nothing came out of it. He felt bad about it the next day. I know from Shireen that Stannis is now dating Alyssane Mormont, his secretary. She lost weight and is now into fitness , like he is, and they are both single parents, lots in common really. “

After such a revelation, nobody seemed interested in keep playing.

Arya did not care though: she had found the truth and it was worth the wait.

***

It took a few moments, but Sandor managed to move on from what he had just learned and soon they were discussing the sleeping arrengements. It was too late for Arya to drive and frankly, Sandor was not impressed by her driving skills. Sandor and Tyrion agreed the girls might get some bug or infection by sleeping at Maeggy the Frog´s Bed and Breakfast. Because Tyrion could only offer them his fancy-but-not-that-comfortable-sofa , Sandor insisted Sansa and Arya to have his almost never used guest´s bedroom.

The whole night had played like a dream, a dream Sandor had not dared to have.

Sansa was obviously delighted to see him. He tried to remind himself that she was probably just thankfull for what he had tried to do many years ago, but soon it became clear that there was more to it.

The years had just added to Sansa´s appeal; she was more poised, more confident and ever the proper lady, her courtesies were now even more polished.

Sandor understood that people needed time to get used to his burned face, but it had been years since they last seen each other and yet...there she was, making eye contact, not avoiding to look at his ruined face.

His scars did not bother her it was evident.

Sansa had been incredibly touchy with him and had even made some remarks about his body and muscles. Now that he was a successful man, Sandor had noticed that women were making themselves more available to him. Even before he worked his way to money, Sandor knew there were women actually interested in him sexually and he would occasionally indulge; he would have been a fool otherwise.

Sandor was not only able to smell the fakeness of a gold digger but also to identify a possible one night stand in no time.

However, he knew Sansa was different.

Maybe her judgement was impaired; Sansa was visibly drunk when they started playing that silly game.

Yet, several glasses of water later, she was as sober as she had been when the night had started it.

Now, they were at his place. Tyrion had given the girls "Clegane Rosé" promotional shirts their size and Arya had already changed into one and was now sleeping.

Sansa said she was not tired and did not want the night to end that early. She was sitting at such close proximity that Sandor could feel the warmth of her body.

Sandor was now in the middle of an internal debate : would he make a move? would he sleep on it?He was feeling more and more like a green boy...

Before Sandor could come to a conclusion, Sansa had closed the gap between them and yes, they kissed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are interested to know more about Sansa and Stannis, you can check Truth or Dare from Sarah_Black :  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/4743896/chapters/10843052


	3. ...to lovers!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sex and pillow talk, Sansan style.

Sandor did not know how, but they managed to move from the living room to his bedroom. Presently, they were in their underwears, happilly exploring each other´s bodies. Sandor was tenderly caressing Sansa´s body, kissing and massaging every inch of her perfect, alabaster skin. He  wanted Sansa badly, but what he wanted even more was to give her pleasure.

Of course, that stupid part of his male ego also wanted to show off, to impress Sansa with his sexual prowess and give her a fucking great orgasm. 

"Oh, Sandor, this feels so good..." Sansa´s hands gently patted Sandor´s hair. She thought how his black, thick, long hair had always been one of his best features, even though Sandor obviously did not care all that much about it.

She had always been terribly aware of his magnificent body. Sandor was built to be a warrior, all muscles and fierceness. He was tall-taller than anyone Sansa had ever met- broad shoulders, strong legs. Sansa moved her own body forward, feeling small next to him, and sat on the edge of the bed.

Sansa wondered how different Sandor would have been had the vicious attack not happened. She doubted he would have worked for the Lannisters for such a long time...it dawned on her that perhaps then they woud not have met. Such a strange thought to have, especially _now ._

It made Sansa smile at her own mind playing such tricks. Sandor was now sitting right next to her. Without much thought, Sansa touched the burned side of his face, as gentle as she could.

Sandor picked up on Sansa´s lighter mood. "You are not scared anymore. I noticed before, when we were having dinner." There was sadness in Sandor´s voice, but also acceptance. He did not make any gesture that indicated to Sansa that he was uncomfortable with her touching his ruined face.

"I was never scared of your _face,_ Sandor. It was your eyes that disturbed me: they were so full of anger, of hatred. " Sansa´s voice now changed; her tone, tender. "Not anymore, though. I can now look at you and appreciate your eyes; your deep,grey eyes."

Sandor´s remaining doubts were finally cast aside and he felt energized, stronger. His kisses became more eager and demanding. Sansa responded to this new surge of energy with moans, which pleased Sandor. "Keep singing, little bird, such sweet song!"

Almost breathless, Sansa smiled at his playful remark. Then, she turned serious, as it reminded her the last time Sandor had used a similar expression. "Do you remember that night when you came to my room?"  

Sandor nodded and Sansa continued :" You offered to take me away from that awful house. I will never forget how I could feel the heat of your body, and then I just closed my eyes and you left."

"I know now, Sansa. You closed your eyes not because you were disgusted by my scars. We don´t need to talk about it..."

Sansa planted a small kiss on his mouth, her hands now holding his face, reassuring him with her actions that they were not embarking on an argument. " Sandor, it was nothing of the sort. I closed my eyes because I was expecting you to kiss me. I spent years replaying that night, sometimes I would even dream that you had in fact kissed me. "

Sandor simply stopped, too stunned. " Now, really Sansa Stark! You were ready to be kissed by a dog back then? If only I knew... you are full of surprises, aren´t you? But no, you were too young, Sansa. I am a man of great _character_ and _integrity,_ not to be confused with, you know...Stannis Fucking Baratheon..."

Sansa could tell he was joking and teasing her and she did not mind.

"Well, Stannis was great if you want to know, but really,  we better change topics. Or stop talking altogether, Mr Clegane." Feeling rather bold, Sansa´s hand travelled  south, to his loins, and found a very impressive erection. She started to stroke Sandor´s cock through the fabric of his boxers, making exciting noises. She felt herself blush for a fraction of second, thinking it was only logic that Sandor would be big also down there. 

Before she could think any further, Sansa decided to change positions. With the palm of her hand planted on his huge chest, Sansa made a gesture for Sandor to lay on his back. She then proceded to unburden Sandor of his boxers, which made him feel a strange mix of vulnerability and excitment. 

Sansa placed herself between his legs and held his hard cock, a firm grip at its base. It was huge: not only long, but also think, as fierce as its owner. She licked the pre cum, her tongue circling the head with gusto. It would be impossible to deep throat him - not that she had ever done it before, but she considered it,  for half a second- in the position they were without getting hurt. Sansa settled for a more softer approach and started to suck his member, perhaps rather shyly as if she waited for approval, her hands doing half the job. Soon, she realized Sandor was clearly enjoying her efforts, telling her how great her mouth felt instead of trying to make her swallow more of it or go faster, which made Sansa want to please him even more.

"Come here, little bird, I want to return the favour and have a taste of you." Sansa was more than happy to oblige, not only for the sake of her mouth, but also because Sandor was an excellent kisser and she was looking forward to experience his mouth in other ways.

Her panties out of the way, Sandor inserted a finger inside of her, to probe the wetness of the area. "I guess you _do_ like me! You are soaked!" He then licked her folds, enjoying the moisture and finding its taste much to his liking. Rubbing her nub, the tip of his tongue nudged at her entrance, which made Sansa moan rather loudly. Her smell was intoxicated and the light red hairs of her cunt had been trimmed lately, making his efforts easier. Sandor continued with this move for a while, then changed paces and started to suck her, his hands kneeding her tights.

Sansa was panting and trying her very best not to sufocate Sandor. She needed more, and she needed it now. "Please, Sandor...your cock!"

Sandor stopped and, without a word, searched for his extra large condoms in the nightstand, leaving Sansa in anxious anticipation, the area between her legs throbbing.

Not longer after, Sandor was thrusting inside of her, gently at first, giving Sansa enough time to adjust to his size. When he was sure she could take more of it, he thrusted further and further. Sandor started to build up a rhytim, continuously increasing speed and intensity. To his delight, Sansa was asking for more each time he switched gears, something he had not anticipated.

Actually, he concluded, Sansa was a revelation in bed. Sandor  had expected her to be more ladylike and passive. He was prepared to go easy and make what people would call  "sweet love" to Sansa. However, the young woman in his bed was very hot, giving as good as she got, and quite the screamer. 

" Fuck Sansa, you are a goddess! I can´t hold any longer!"

About a minute later, he came. Energy quickly evaded his body and he was barely able to move for a couple of minutes.

***

"Sandor?

"Yes?"

"Did you think of me these years we were apart?"

"Of course, Sansa! I even talked about you when I was in therapy with Elder Brother, at the Veterans Retreat."

" Oh...is he a real brother? What kind of retreat it was?"

"Yes, he is a brother of the Seven, but he also works as a counsellor, helping veterans transition to civilian life. He has been a mentor and a friend. Actually, I finally convinced him to come and visit, he is arriving in a couple of weeks. I don´t think he ever took some time off, to be honest. Usually, I am the one who flies there, to volunteer and spend time with him. "

"Oh, I understand! Now I wish I could meet him in person, he seems to be a very special man. I am happy that you were able to find the help you needed. I am also in therapy, you know? After all that happened, when our family finally got back together, there were so many unresolved issues. We all went to family therapy for a whole year, but I continued."

"Good to hear you are able to talk about with someone about your problems, little bird. You did not deserve all the things that happened."

"You also did not deserve the things that happened to you, Sandor. I always knew you were hurting."

" I am happy now. I have a purpose in life. I am not a Lannister dog anymore. It makes me sick when I remember all the bad shit I did when I worked for that crazy woman and her disgusting son. For fuck´s sake Sansa, I don´t mean to say I did not have a choice, but I certianly did not know better."

"They are gone now, Sandor. They got what they deserved. They ended up the way they lived."

"Yes, they are gone and we are here."

"Sandor, I have to go back home soon. We should, I don´t know, exchange emails? Skype? I don´t want to rush into things, but..."

"Sansa, you know how I feel about you, right? But I want you to be happy. Tell me what you want from me, and I will oblige."

"I want us to have a chance, to see where things are going, without pressure. I want to be with you and you to be with me. I do not like sharing. But I know I can be a bit too idealistic, so I also need you to keep telling me the truth. You always did anyway. You always treated me like an intelligent person."

"Because you are, Sansa. "

"We can visit each other. I want to show you Winterfell. I do not live in the family home anymore. I have my own place at Wintertown. It is nothing like here, but it is beautiful."

"I will, Sansa. As soon as this crazy season is over, I can spend a week with you. That is the good thing about being the boss: I can make my schedule."

"I do not have this luxury, but being a Stark, working at management at Stark Group, I have more freedom than most of the employees."

"What do you do there, by the way?"

"I handle customer service, partners relations and oversee work practices. Basically, I am good with people and I work hard to ensure everyone is treated correctly, from our customers to our own employees. I also give internal seminars on things like soft skills and conflict management."

"It seems like an important job. As you know, I am terrible with people. Tyrion is the one who does this part. But he always tells me our business would grow at an even faster pace if I would be less irascible. Fucking Imp. Not everybody is a natural born attention seeking salesman. "

"Maybe you can attend one of my seminars."

"Yes, I think you could teach me a thing or two."

"What time is it? I am getting tired."

"About 2:30. Let´s sleep then. "

"Good night, Sandor"

"Good night, Sansa."


	4. ...to husband and wife

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 3 wedings and an engagement!

All things considered, dating Sansa and keeping a long distance relationship was not as hard as Sandor had anticipated.

There was no denying that her beauty and family name were a source of concern for Sandor. He was, after all, an older man who came from a dysfunctional family, had a scared face and a past of violence. Sansa, on the other hand, was a drop dead gorgeous young woman. He knew she had suffered and survived hell and that she had outgrown her silly fantasies, reasons good enough to give Sandor a hope for the future.

The truth is that Sandor had expected, at least at the beginning, adaptation problems- he had never been in a commited relationship before- and was unsure if he could keep his own insecurities from surfacing at time, which could possibly harm what they had.

He should have not worried: soon became clear that Sansa had a way of making Sandor feel loved and well grounded. 

They trusted each other completely; there was no room for suspicions and doubts.

However, it was not a smooth sail.

The first test came with Arya´s wedding: a very small family affair. Both bride and groom disliked big social events and were only making it official because Catelyn Stark had all but bullied them into submission. Sansa saw it as the opportunity to properly introduce Sandor to her brothers and mother. The simple fact that they would not be the center of attentions did make Sandor less uncomfortable and he was pleased to see her brothers going out of their ways to welcome him into the family and get to know him better .

The ceremony was very simple, performed in front of a heart tree, as tradition dictated, and Sansa held Sandor´s hand as Arya and Gendry were reciting their vows, a very emotional moment for everbody in attendance. 

Wintertown was as pretty as Sansa had described and her apartment in the city centre had very, very thick walls, making it a perfect place for them to enjoy each other's company in a very adult way. 

Sandor would have loved nothing more than to have spent the weekend at her place, ordering food, fucking and drinking wine, but Sansa was a social creature and took her family obligations very seriously, which meant spending whole afternoons at Winterfell Castle and enduring Catelyn.

What a bitch she was! The womam just sat there, judging everyone and everything. Sansa explained her mother had changed quite a lot after being basically " ressurrected" - she had been attacked by thugs and left for dead- however, Sandor had heard enough to make him believe Catelyn had always been a piece of work.

Apparently, the household employees called Sansa's mother “Lady Stoneheart” behind her back and Sandor could not have agreed more. 

The second test was, of course, to endure weeks of separation. 

They had agreed early on to not let a day pass without being in touch, whether an hour long skype call at the end of the day or cute little texts exchanges at lunch break.

Although Sandor missed the comfort of Sansa´s body, he had to thank science and greedy corporations for all modern day, real time communication tools, because he could not imagine how would it be to spend days or weeks waiting for a letter or not being able to hear Sansa´s voice. 

 

***

In time, family and friends got used to see them as a couple. Tyrion, did not miss an opportunityand constantly reminded Sandor that he was the one responsible for his happiness; Sandor made sure to thank Tyrion every damn time the Imp would bring it up because he knew it annoyed the hell out of his partner when he was sarcastic instead his usual agressive self.

Sandor was no fool; he knew Tyrion was a bit jealous of the successful relationship. The Imp knew it too and did not deny it when Sandor brought the subject up:

“Of course I am, Sandor! Look at you and look at me, I really thought we would both end our days together, drinking our wine in some fancy assisted living facility, with hot nurses pretending to like our advances and silly hands! I am happy for you, and for Sansa, don't get me wrong, I just wished to have the same luck!”

“Well, it is not like you never had a serious relationship, you were married at some point.”

“She was a whore. My brother paid her to seduce me.”

“Big deal. Whores could also make good wives, last I heard.I never took you for a prude, Tyrion. Besides, I met the girl briefly and I was never too convinced she was actually a whore. We both know Jaime never frequented brothels and only fucked your sister. The man had always been too lazy and a bit too self centered, so I cannot see him having all that trouble for you. No offense.”

Well, Sandor´s words had an effect on Tyrion. 

A couple of weeks later, Tyrion sent Sansa and Sandor wedding invitations.

A very confused Sandor called Tyrion immediatly .“What the fuck, Imp! Are you marrying? For real? How that happened?”

“Hound, I took our last talk to heart and I decided to change my act. You and Sansa are so happy, too happy for my taste, I realized it was silly of me to envy as I don't particularly like sugarrine affairs, but it was enough to make me want some personal happiness. I went to a public function and met this very attractive woman. We got talking and exchanged numbers. When I found out she had been a former girlfriend of Stannis Baratheon, I had to make my move.”

“Wait a minute...is she also a red haired? I hope she does not look like Sansa. it would be too fucked up, even for freak like us!”

“Yes, she has red hair, but not like Sansa´s. The Red Woman, they call her. The fuck of a lifetime. Stannis seal of approval means something, I give him that. His fiancee, Alysane Mormont, is also quite attractive now that she has lost weight. “

“How is she called, this fiancee of yours?”

“Melisandre. She is a life coach, lawyer and best seller author. Apparently, she is quite old, but you cannot tell simply looking at her. She really likes that I have life goals and she  will help me achieve them. Melisandre tells me I am special because I have what she calls “ King's Blood”, the strength of character and the very special ability to change life dramatically, to perform personal miracles . She is very interested in having a family with me; Melisandre promised as many babies as I want, and said they will be a great part of my success.”

“She sounds a bit crazy to me. No offense. Crazy can be good.”

“Not taken. Mel is crazy. But hey, nobody is perfect, right?”

Sansa was in charge of buying an expensive gift to the new couple and she choose an oil painting of Asshai-by-the-Shadow by a Lhazareen artist called Mirri Maaz Duur. Sansa explained to Sandor that the painter was recently deceased, dying in a mock magical ritual that was supposed to be an art installation, and since the bride, Melisandre, was very interested in this sort of “spiritual pursuits” as Sansa put it, and was from Asshai, the present would be well received and would bring good luck to the couple.

Two months after attending the wedding ceremony, performed by a very drunk Thoros of Myr, Sandor had to call Sansa, pretending to be mad:

“ For fuck´s sake, Sansa, what kind of doomed painting you bought? The thing was not only horrible but also costed way too much and now The Imp is getting divorced! Not even two months of marriage! If we only knew, we could have given them , I don´t know, a cheap vase or a voucher!”

“Sandor, that is awful! He must be devasted! I will write to Tyrion, he should be in need of a friend right now!”

“Nah, he sounded pretty cheerful to me. He saw Melisandre without makeup and jewerly and apparently she is way too old for him. No wonder Stannis dumped her! Tyrion also said she could not have children, only shadow babies and that she was not even after his money- she wanted to use his blood for some crazy shit!”

The divorce from Mel had not yet been finalized when Tyrion met a woman, Ala Lemore, in one of his many trips to Essos. Two weeks after the ink was dry and he was a free man, Tyrion called Sandor.

“I have a favor to ask, Sandor.”

“Humpf.”

“I know Sansa will be visiting you this weekend and I want you both to go to the Golden Tooth Casino, Hotel and Resort with me. My secretary already made our reservations, we will get a great suite and tickets to Tom of Sevenstreams concert, front row. I am eloping with Lemore and I need you as my best man.”

“You gotta be kidding me! You just got divorced!”

“I know, and I might get another one pretty soon. Lemore is very religious, she spent half her life in a motherhouse and she was a septa, Sandor. The woman is gorgeous and I agreed in taking care of her illegitimate son, Aegon Griff, but she wants to marry first, you know to give the young man an example. He is in this rebellious phase and only found out she was his mother´s son a couple of months ago.” 

“So, are you marrying her because you want to be an example to her son?”

“What? No! That is  _ her _ reason for marrying me. I just need to stay married till the end of the year. As it happens, my uncle Gerion, the one who disappeared in Valyria, well, he left a will in Braavos, and he stipulated I would inherit some of his money if I was married to a woman of great beauty and good reputation by the end of the year I turned 30. Must have been one of his jokes, he was known for pulling this tricks.”

 

***

Sandor agreed to attend Tyrion´s second wedding in one year on the condition he would tell Sansa the true reasons behind it. He did not want Sansa to lose time trying to make friends with Ala Lemore if this relationship was not to last. Sandor knew Sansa was a lady and would treat the woman Tyrion was about to marry with utmost respect; he just did not want his girlfriend to be lied to and to start having second thoughts about him because Tyrion was making fun of the sacred institution of marriage!

Lemore was indeed beautiful and younger than Sandor had expected, probably in her late 30´s. Tyrion was, as usual, enjoying his time in the spotlight, making sure to introduce his new wife to the rich and famous; Golden Tooth was a very well attended resort and casino, well known for high stakes poker games, where fortunes were made or lost in hours. 

Alla was the perfect trophy wife, Sandor concluded and Tyrion seemed determined to be seen as a very devoted husband, perhaps in a effort to make people forget after the whole Melisandre debacle. 

“Who knows, Sandor, maybe they do fall in love? Look, Tyrion is visibly very proud of her and Lemore is very gracious and treats him with deference.”

“Little bird, it is a sham marriage and you know it. Life is not a romantic comedy. However, if this woman plays her cards right, she might end up pregnant and get an even bigger share of that Lannister cake. Tyrion , of course, made her sign a prenup, but it would made him good to be outsmarted. This way he would stop getting married for all the wrong reasons…”

“So, what would be a good reason to marry, Sandor?”

“You know, the usual. Love. To start a family. Pay less taxes…”

Sandor kissed Sansa, a bit ashamed of himself for making light of her hope for happiness for their mutual friend, and definitely to avoid this whole conversation about love and marriage to evolve.

In the last couple of months, Sandor had been thinking about proposing. The end of the year was just 5 weeks away and they had been together for over 6 months. Sansa was the only woman for him; he shared his fears, worries and tribulations with her without a second thought and spent the best days of his life by her side. 

He even had bought a ring and, if were not for Tyrion and his stupid marriage, Sandor might have proposed this very weekend. He had planned a romantic evening at The Fair Isle, and bought lemon cakes for her breakfast. 

“What do you have in your mind, love?”

“I am cursing Tyrion Lannister. I had our weekend all planned out, little bird. Dinner, romantic breakfast, a relaxing walk. Even bought you something special. ”

“Oh, a surprise for me, you mean?! Now I want to go back home and see it. Maybe we can drive back to your place, it is just a couple of hours anyway. We do not need to, you know, witness the consummation of the marriage, I suppose. I am so excited for my gift. can you tell me what it is?“

 "It is a surprise. You need to wait until tomorrow."

***

Sandor woke up with Sansa in his arms and on his own bed. 

They managed to leave the newlyweds after dinner. Tyrion did not have much choice; they had attended the bloody wedding, after all. 

Sandor showered and went to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. Sansa enjoyed cooking in her methodic way, trying new recipes, measuring ingredients, properly cutting vegetables. Sandor liked to improvise and only cooked simple, straightforward and fast dishes, pasta being his favorite. 

He set the table and opened a bottle of Sansa's favorite wine.

Clegane Rosé.

It was cheesy, he knew, but Sandor wanted to make an effort, have the proposal be something worth remembering. 

Sansa burst into the room, hair still wet, smiling and looking gorgeous in a simple dress. “ Humm, it smells wonderful, Sandor! Thank you for cooking! Lemon cakes, yay!”

“Would you like some wine?”

“Oh, yes, please!”

Sandor had placed the diamond ring inside the glass and poured wine. His hands were shaking: what if Sansa would swallow the ring and the moment would be memorable, but in a funny and silly way? 

Or even worse, what if Sansa turned him down? Sandor did not know what was the proper etiquette for proposing:  half a year seemed a good time for him and he was not expecting them to marry right away, but maybe Sansa had a different idea.

Maybe he should have talked to her first.

Before Sandor could regret this step, still absorbed in his thoughts, he felt Sansa´s lips attacking his, her hands enveloping his face, the feel of a ring on her finger.

 

“Yes!”

 

 


	5. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yep, guys, this is it!
> 
> Hope you had fun with my little fic!
> 
> Thank you for your support!

After claiming the fortune his uncle Gerion Lannister had jokingly left him, Tyrion Lannister fulfilled his ambition and officially became the richest Lannister there was. When Cersei stepped up as the Head of the family and C.E.O of the company, she started to make less than sound investiments. The most famous one was her idea of building three ships in order to diversify Lannister´s portfolio, just to be robbed by Aurane Waters, the hustler who made sure the contracts she signed were severely one sided to his advantage. Many cousins, uncles, aunts and other “lesser Lannisters” that had shares, started to sell.

But things only went downhill when the serious magazine _Maester´s Digest_ ran a cover story revealing the exhaustion of Lannister mines; banks started to pressure Cersei for repaymments.

The Church of the Seven, as it turned out, was one of the Lannisters creditors; after a dispute with the High Sparrow, the Church´s new appointed treasurer, turned into physical agression and lead to her brief incarceration, Cersei swore vengeance. The last drops of sanity she had were lost when news came that Tommen and Myrcella had died in an avalanche. Cersei then decided the best course of action was to eliminate her problems by wildfire explosion.

When the Sept of Baelor went down, killing hundreds, Cersei was labelled a terrorist; she tried to evade Justice by marrying Euron Greyjoy and sailing with him to Ulthos, a country that had refused to sign a non extradition agreement with Westeros. Unluckly for Cersei, her groom just wanted her gold and Cersei was pushed overboard to shark and giant squid infested waters.

But yes, that happened some years ago; Cersei´s body was never found-not that anybody went looking- and Tyrion had to wait the proper amount of time to have the certificate of death. As the sole survivor and heir - Jaime had publicaly forsaken his rights to the Lannister wealth, the only way Brienne of Tarth would agree to marry him after all he made her go through- Tyrion saw himself with the white elephant of Casterly Rock and the responsability of making Lannister great again.

Tyrion could not possibly continue as the face of Clegane Wines.

“If I may offer you a piece of advice, Sandor, just marry that fiancee of yours and have her take over my duties. She will make you a fortune!”

And so it was. A year to the day he proposed, Sandor and Sansa married. She had finally agreed to relocate to the Westerlands, a move she would have never considered before, but she had learned to love the dry climate of Wine Country and winemaking.

The ceremony was the social event of the year. Tyrion was best man. He was now divorced from Lemore and had reconnectd with Tysha, his first wife. After months in couples therapy, she decided to forgive him for all the terrible things he had done and their daughter, Penny, seemed to be kind hearted enough to treat her newfound father with affection.

Arya and Gendry decided it would be a good opportunity for the newlyweds to experience first hand the joys of parenthood and "offered" Sansa and Sandor the privelege to baby sit Eddard, their toddler, while they went on a romantic 2 days trip to a spa- one with a very healthy food program, as Arya would insist on low carb diet, weekends being the days her family was allowed to eat less wholesome options. Robert Baratheon had treated his body poorly and was diabetic when he died, so, officially, Arya was trying to help Gendry live longer and better.

Sandor thought Arya simply did not want Gendry to become fat.

Little Eddard was a good natured boy and Sandor had to admit he was very cute, a perfect mixture of the Baratheon and Stark look. He would only get fussy to sleep, but Sansa had a beautiful singing voice and her singing was enough to put him to bed.

“ Look, Sandor, he sleeps so peacefully! Don´t you think he would like to have a cousin to play with?”

_Fuck, women and their maternal instincts...little bird is not even 25 years old, is not that a but too early for her clock be ticking?_

“Don´t you want to enjoy our freedom a little more, little bird? Perhaps we could travel and expand our house before thinking about getting some pups.”

Sansa looked him with sad eyes; how could he resist her?

“Okay, maybe we could have a dog now? So we could start a family with a less demanding pup?”

The next week they went to the public shelter to adopt a dog. They ended up leaving with two.

Sandor bonded with a huge black Labrador. The carers told him the dog was only eight months old and was left there the past month. The dog ate like two and was expected to grow a bit more. The former owner had died and his wife was too old for the dog. Labradors needed more action than the 75 years old woman could provide. The labrador, it seemed was depressed and never showed much interest towards visitors. But, with Sandor, the dog had come back to life; he was named Stranger Clegane and became Sandor´s best friend.

Sansa fell in love with this mix between a German Shepard and street dog who looked like a well behaved wolf. It was a female and the vets estimated was six months old. She was found nested close to her mother, who died trying to cross a road. Sansa named her Lady.

***

An year later, they became parents...

I mean, Lady and Stranger!

They had three pups. Sandor, from all people, helped Lady delivered while Stranger, as any good dog would, went for a walk. 

Two girls and a boy. After the proper time, the pups were adopted by family members and moved out the house.

The veterinary recommended one of their dogs to be sterilized , as Lady had a very difficult time in the "birthing bed". Sandor reluctantly agreed to have Stranger undergo the operation. Sansa wanted to have kids and the dog had a temper, he hated to admit. 

They were bringing Stranger home and Sandor looked at his wife, with loving eyes: " Who would have thought, Little Bird? "

 


End file.
